Shaken

I'm not feeling great right now. For reasons I'm not fully aware of, i've been putting off tests to ascertain my blood group and genotype. Both my parents are O+ so I was pretty sure neither me nor my brothers could be anything else. I also concluded that my genotype was AA, for no reason at all than that I liked the genotype and thought it should be mine.

In previous serious relationships my partners had asked me what my genotype was, and when I said i didn't know, they usually closed the conversation along the lines of "well, i'm AA so whatever..." so you see, it was never an issue until much later. Any way, i finally got round to having the tests done and while I was right about being O+, it also turns out i'm AS.

I can't believe it. I can't even take in what this means. Like, if things had been different I could have been this close to marrying an AS man I loved, who totally adored me, and then found out i'm AS too and then...? There is only one person on earth who could come close to understanding the full implication of this.

I can only say it's been reckless of me not to have found out earlier. And I suppose i should be grateful i'll not have to live with the pain of what could have been. But right now i'm in shock. Maybe i'll feel better in the morning. Sheesh!!